.mental.
mental is my way of processing the events and aftermath of my being hospitalized involuntarily for manic behavior in 2013. For the longest time, I have felt a pressure to hold these facts of my life back, to hold myself back, and through this show, I am beginning to lay down my burden, my mask, my shame, my shy, and let you see me. Let myself feel allowed, accepted and seen.
Artists make things, I have gone through many making cycles, I learned almost two years ago, that i could use “my practice” (as we artists love to say), to change my habits, i.e. to change my life. I had a tea room in the gallery, every day for a month i would open it for 90min or two hours and drink tea. Often I was the only attendee, and there were some very sweet visitors too. At the end of the month, I was no longer drinking coffee. So im like huh? I can make my art, which i hold in such high esteem, a way to help myself. (continued below the fotos)
(continued from above)
For some reason, this was a revolution for me, I had thought my artist’s job was making outside of myself, making things, making feelings, making thoughts, making others, making the world, i hadn’t really thought “what if i’m making myself “ what does my life show of my intentions, priorities and passion.
The Stafford Beers’ thing, just assume that what ever a system is producing, that is it’s goal. There is no striving towards goals, there is only arriving where you’ve headed.
So i’m using my art to go into this place in me i’ve kind of kept down in the deep of me, in a shell, hiding. I for so long felt that if anyone found out I was in the psych ward, my credibility and their trust in me would be compromised. Now i feel differently. As Audre Lorde prays “Black mother goddess… hold me in your muscular flowering arms, protect me from throwing any part of myself away” I bring it up and let it go, shine the light, end the hiding. My own personal apocalypse, ya know
as ever… you are encouraged to join me. I love us when we joining….
wel(l...)come(!) -and fun
wel(l...)come(!) -and fun